Because it is easier this way

• I am working dual roles through the end of the year. Stress level, high. Sanity, gone. Chocolate consumption, skyrocketed. Compensation, pittance.
• I had a sinus infection for two weeks and during that time proceeded to scratch the living heck out of my right eye. I would be a great candidate for an eyebrow lift even at the ripe age of 29, so my already-saggy eyelid is now a more saggy. I'm serious. There is no more elasticity in the skin on my eyelid. I now have this... lump.... of skin on the inner corner of my eye, and it's driving me batshit.
• I had no date on Saturday to a company event, going stag, and ended up playing darts with someone late at night in a dive bar in the 'hood. I don't know whether I was more amused by how un-gangsta I am, or the wide-load lady wearing a bright red shirt and very obviously showing her purple undies which were tugged up her back.